MyMangels.com

I’m sorry man-gel

admin — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 16:40:52 +0000

Just a few weeks ago I was prepping for a talk that was to be presented to an audience of hundreds. While getting this done, I got into a misunderstanding with a man-gel who had done some work for me. Needles to say, I wasn’t very warm and friendly about his side of the story. Just as I was re-thinking my behavior, BEFORE I had spoken to him about it, he called me to apologize.
Though there was reason for the apology, he had completely ignored the fact that my attitude stunk! He took complete responsibility for what had happened.

The conversation was such a gift on many levels.

First, I was already stressed. He didn’t point out THAT obvious fact, he just did what he thought was right. What a breath of fresh air!

Second, he became my definition of a perfect man! (perfect person, really). All of us make mistakes. There are few, however, who are willing to say they are sorry before an apology is forced upon them.
What he did gave us more than a fresh start. We now knew what was important to both of us. Trust and integrity come to mind.

For my part, I told him plainly what his actions meant to me. Hopefully, future business dealings we have will be ways for both of us to create something great!

Never underestimate the power of saying I’m sorry-especially if it comes as a welcome surprise

Cat man-gel

admin — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 11:54:18 +0000

2007 was a very chaotic time for our family. Great transition took place on almost every level of the structure of our daily lives. Due to these changes, our family pets were displaced for a time. It wasn’t until the holidays that one of our cats, a beautiful grey tabby with whites “socks”, came home.

While our home was “petless” the house took on an empty feel. Without the thumping of Sunny’s hefty paws on the stairs or his non-stop purring for no apparent reason a big chunk of our base of love went missing. The creatures around us feed us. They infuse us with the ultimate act of trust. They hand over their very livelihood, and hang out fully expecting things to go well.

Sunny plops down on the stairs, the couch, or the bed as if he’s never been gone. No grudges for having messed up his daily routine. He rubs up against your arm or cheek doling out love without regard as to whether you deserve it or not. He trusts that we will in turn love his every antic from meowing in the middle of the night to dragging his latest back yard catch into the kitchen. And, of course we do.

Is there any existence so pure as that of the animals around us? They live in the moment, in faith. It appears they know no other way. They are perfect role models, angels wrapped in a suit of fur and whiskers.

On days when I wonder about my purpose or my reason for being, all I have to do is watch my big man-gel cat. He knows he deserves to be here just because he’s alive. Wouldn’t we all do well to be in this place, and be generous with our ability to love to boot?

Man-gels, angels in disguise

admin — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 17:13:08 +0000

The holidays wrapped up, or un-wrapped, quickly! Its unbelievable that we have launched into 2008 already. When time really does seem to fly, it is always a reminder to me to be mindful. Each moment is so precious, and each person we meet may just be an angel in disguise…a man-gel in particular.

Resolutions come and go with each passing year. Maybe this is the year to simply look for blessings at our feet for they are surely there. Rather than trampling through another day, let us tread gently, mindfully, lovingly….

Christmas eve man-gel

admin — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 03:35:29 +0000

Christmas eve, and I had to make my requisite stop at Walgreens. Its tradition for me to find something I “need” to commune with the other less than prepared holiday revelers.
As I plunked down two bags of candy at the check out counter, my first bona fide Christmas man-gel greeted me. “Merry Christmas” he said with an eloquent accent. Where are you from, I asked. “Nigeria”, he returned. “Are you from Nigeria’, he questioned with a smile. He followed up with, “Did you get your mom something nice for Christmas?” Interspersed between our lines of conversation, he greeted every customer that entered the door with a hearty Merry Christmas while flashing a gleaming smile…

I knew nothing of his life, other than the fact that he had left a home he knew at some point and journeyed to a new country. A country he had the courage to inhabit, and work within, bringing joyous tidings to every customer he saw. What else did I need to know to realize this man had more guts, heart, and positive mental attitude than I had ever been required to muster. This was a man-gel to be sure, and I was completely grateful for the sighting…

Blessings to you, and to this lovely Christmas man-gel….

Christmas angel/Christmas man-gel

admin — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 22:21:47 +0000

During this season we honor a great man-gel, a living Christmas angel. Jesus changed the world arguably more than any other human being. He definitely was not a “bubba”. He was a pacifist and communicator extraordinaire. How then are so many who claim to be his followers stuck in a gender bias mentality? One of our most incredible role models didn’t fit even more modern assumptions of what men are capable of. He was so much more than any definition of a man would imply. So today, perhaps we can remember him by eliminating excuses to stay within the confines of who we are “supposed” to be, and live from complete love and faith in what we were created to be.

Boy friends

admin — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 06:29:38 +0000

Girlfriends-I can’t live without them. Boy friends-can’t live without them either. Yes, there are men who, as friends, have been in my life forever…through schools, romances, marriage and kids. Just like girlfriends, boy friends are my cushion. They are always looking out for me like an army of older brothers. They keep me in check, and razz me just like brothers too!! What do I appreciate most? They talk about everything under the sun. Nothing is off limits AND I get a take on the man’s side of things. Can there be friendship between man and women? The answer is whole heartedly YES, and I trust them with my whole heart.

Today is the day to thank my boy friends and invite you to thank yours to. And if you are looking, its time to find a real friend in the boy before you go looking for anything else!

Women’s Intuition/Men’s Intuition

admin — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 22:45:26 +0000

For the past several days the subject of women’s intuition has come up repeatedly. The obvious manner in which this talent is used is by reading a person or a situation as healthy or unhealthy for its owner. What if we shifted to using intuition as a mechanism to promote ever greater levels of trust and healing? This weekend while attending a party the discussion turned to religion (yes, I know, its a don’t touch subject). Instead of holding back, I spoke of my diverse interests trusting my intuition that I would not be shot down, or thought of as weird because of my continual wonderment of all things spiritual. I was also very open about writing and how my career path had branched out as well. Low and behold the person standing next to me opened up, relaying that his day job was fun, AND he was a gifted artist. Creativity was his true purpose. My sharing had opened the door for him to speak broadly and truthfully. Indeed, everyone in the group was given permission to be more real and remain accepted. In fact, they were loved and supported for being more fully themselves.

Two distinct lessons came from my leap of faith:

1) As the bible says, you must use your gifts or they have the potential to destroy you. With the gift comes responsibility. As women, if we have been given the gift of “women’s intuition”, we must use it not just for our own purposes. We must use our gifts as a tool to facilitate our fellow man’s (literally in this case) ability to live as the miracle they are.

2) I have a question. Are men born with the same level of intuition? Has society beaten it out of them for the most part? It’s very curious…and I for one have chosen to be mindful of any opportunity that comes my way to allow for intuition’s return to the whole of humanity. the whole of humanity.

Young man, young man-gel

admin — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 04:39:50 +0000

Watching the last football game of the year at the local pub, fellow spectators drove the excitement up more than a few notches. Chatting with a young man to my right became a particularly pleasant surprise. He was relaxed and centered even as we joked about hoping for opposing outcomes for the final score. A healthy glow shone from his skin, which cloaked an athletic frame. His good looks could easily have made him a match for prime time TV. A wisdom and generosity of spirit made such a categorization less than a compliment. An easy smile, good natured ribbing, and impeccable manners wrapped into a pleasant package. I would definitely have trusted my daughter with him as a date, or as my son’s best friend…The bottom line? No matter what our worst fears might have us believe, the world is in good hands. What the camera often doesn’t catch is the guy who gets it. He gets the idea that fun doesn’t have to be demeaning or crass-even at college age.

As my group readied to leave, I gave this man-gel a hug and reminded him that he was a wonderful man…I did not want the opportunity to be lost. The chance to compliment him for being an inspiration was the biggest win of the night and I wasn’t about to drop the ball!

Perfect man=Man-gel?

admin — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 22:07:51 +0000

Are man-gels perfect? Is this really about a quest for the perfect man? What perfect means to me is always striving to tell the truth of who you are and be continually mindful of what the life you are choosing. Some man-gels may be very bold and strong, others more sensitive. There is no laundry list of qualities required other than the ability to honestly say, “This is who I am. When I make mistakes, I am mindful of them, and use them to become a better me.”

Perhaps there is one quality that is shared by all man-gels. They are all loving at the core. No matter what the rest of the personality “wrapper” advertises, your radar can connect with the love that is the basis for all man-gel interactions. Have you ever met anyone who is stern, yet you felt they were kind at the same time? Have you ever met someone who is almost obnoxiously passionate, and when needed performs the most sensitive deed? These are man-gels. They know when to draw the line in the sand when their personality traits begin to overcome their values system. If they get it wrong, their ACTIONS, not just their words, prove the extent of their commitment to make a change. And guess what? The great majority of man-gels are flat out good guys so no guesswork is necessary.

So, there will be no looking for a Ken doll here. Not by a long shot. Real men being real with themselves: that’s the ticket to REAL HAPPINESS!!!!!

Thanksgiving continued-wonderful men at home

admin — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 00:03:41 +0000

Is there anything better than the simple pleasure of spending time at home with friends and family? The weekend that followed Thanksgiving in the US became an unexpected treat when my oldest son commented that he just wanted to stay home and relax. His usual pattern when home from college is to fill the social schedule to a bursting point. This time, he rented “The Family Stone”, made a big pot of coffee, and offered up his favorite deck of playing cards for our festivities. He put our family first. Chatting and plotting strategy stretched late into the night. For me, spending time this way warmed my heart and plugged into the beauty of the simple pleasures. No bells and whistles, just insulated time with the wonderful men I love most. Now that’s something to be thankful for!